my dad doesn’t just say “panic at the disco” my dad YELLS “PANIC!!!” then waits a few seconds and quietly adds “…at the disco” and I appreciate his dedication to punctuation
That point in a piece of fanfiction where you can tell something embarrassing is about to happen so you start fucking around on tumblr because you’re a huge baby with a crippling overabudance of empathy.
I do this with every media I consume. I pause movies and have to walk around and prepare myself for second-hand embarrassment sometimes.
I would like to take this opportunity to point out one thing. This is an example of a male-targeted, vaguely ‘sexist’ commercial campaign that is genuinely funny, and clever enough for women to “get the joke”. These commercials, despite claiming Old Spice was a product for “men” and not ladies, were met with mutual appreciation from men and women, because it is:
A: Not stupid or flat in its humor or message
B: Not degrading to women
C: Genuinely funny
On top of that, these commercials featured a man that was trying to, above all else, make women happy. He wasn’t trying to be a man because “ew being girly is dumb lol,” he was trying to be a man because “oh ladies I would love to impress you.” And even though both of those messages are somewhat traditional ways of viewing and reinforcing gender standards and expectations, that fine line between them makes a world of difference. Many of these pro-men campaigns are too insulting, or too small-minded, or simply not clever enough to make us “get the joke”. But this campaign has humor that appeals to both men and women at the same time, by neither degrading nor bashing either of them. Men can want to be like this man, and woman get to appreciate a man that is like this man. But at the same time, this campaign is too light-hearted and whimsical to hurt anyone’s feelings, so you can easily take it for the hilarious joke it is.
This campaign is not only funny, it’s clever, highly creative, intentionally over the top, and entertaining. Everything that Dr. Pepper’s agonizing “Why don’t women get the joke about our manly soda?” campaign is not.
You are 12. You’re at the library looking for some generic young adult fiction novel about a girl who falls for her best friend. Your dad makes a disgusted face. “This is about lesbians,” he says. The word falls out of his mouth as though it pains him. You check out a different book and cry when you get home, but you aren’t sure why. You learn that this is not a story about you, and if it is, you are disgusting.
You are 15. Your relatives are fawning over your cousin’s new boyfriend. “When will you have a boyfriend?” they ask. You shrug. “Maybe she’s one of those lesbians,” your grandpa says. You don’t say anything. You learn that to find love and acceptance from your family, you need a boyfriend who thinks you are worthy of love and acceptance.
You are 18. Your first boyfriend demands to know why you never want to have sex with him. He tells you that sex is normal and healthy. You learn that something is wrong with you.
You are 13. You’re at a pool party with a relative’s friend’s daughter. “There’s this lesbian in my gym class. It’s so gross,” she says. “Ugh, that’s disgusting,” another girl adds. They ask you, “do you have any lesbians at your school?” You tell them no and they say you are lucky. You learn to stay away from people.
You are 20. You have coffee with a girl and you can’t stop thinking about her for days afterwards. You learn the difference between a new friendship and new feelings for a person.
You are 13. Your mom is watching a movie. You see two girls kiss on screen. You feel butterflies and this sense that you identify with the girls on the screen. Your mom gets up and covers the screen. You learn that if you are like those girls, no one wants to see it.
You are 20. You and your friends are drunk and your ex-boyfriend dares you to make out with your friend. You both agree. You touch her face. It feels soft and warm. Her lips are small and her hands feel soft on your back. You learn the difference between being attracted to someone and recognizing that someone you care about is attractive.
You are 16. You find lesbian porn online. Their eyes look dead and their bodies are positioned in a way that you had never imagined. You learn that liking girls is acceptable if straight men can decide the terms.
You are 20. You are lying next to a beautiful girl and talking about everything. You tell her things that you don’t usually tell anyone. You learn how it feels not to want to go to sleep because you don’t want to miss out on any time with someone.
You are 15. Your parents are talking about a celebrity. Your dad has a grin on his face and says, “her girlfriend says that she’s having the best sex of her life with her!” You learn that being a lesbian is about the kind of sex you have and not how you love.
You are 18. You are in intro to women’s and gender studies. “Not all feminists are lesbians- I love my husband! Most of the feminists on our leadership team are straight! It’s just a stereotype,” the professor exclaims. You learn that lesbianism is something to separate yourself from.
You are 21 and you are kissing a beautiful girl and she’s your girlfriend and you understand why people write songs and make movies and stupid facebook statuses about this and time around you just seems to stop and you could spend forever like this and you learn that there is nothing wrong with you and you are falling in love.
You are 21. And you are okay.
If you see this somewhere on my blog, this means I am NOT a 4Channer.
If I start posting gore and porn, THAT IS NOT ME. I HAVE BEEN HACKED.
If you want to reblog this, take a screenshot of it on your blog so that you have solid proof.
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS